Most of us have a secret or two that we don’t reveal on a first meeting. This is the usual process of dating. Even I, as a psychotherapist, might caution a recovering alcoholic or drug addict not to reveal too much on a first date.
In the beginning, most of us put our best foot forward. Then as we become more comfortable in the relationship, we reveal more about ourselves,with the hope, of course, that we will still be loved and accepted, warts and all. But, when we lie, whether as a child, “I didn’t break the lamp, my brother/sister did,” or, “My online picture is current,” we are still crossing a line.
The lie may, indeed, keep us from being rejected as too old,too short, too heavy, etc., at least for the moment, but the more we get away with the lie, the easier it is to rationalize the next one. And sooner or later, it’s “judgment day” when we meet in a face-to-face and a smiling, “Oooops,sorry…only kidding!” may not really suffice!
Another wrinkle is that some of us actually lie to ourselves; whether it’s, “Just one more cookie won’t hurt my diet, “ or “Everyone tells me I look younger, so it’s OK if I lie about my age.” Oh what a tangled web we weave…
While one lie may not define a person, it’s important to notice when participating in online dating services. Dishonesty can reveal character and help you know if this person’s values are the same as yours. Remember, relationships built on lies, are akin to houses being built on sand.
SOURCE: http://www.liarliarlist.com/UI/BlogHome.aspx
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